If you follow me on instagram, you may have already heard the news, but for those who haven’t.. over the holidays I got engaged!!
For four years PJ and I have been at eachother’s side through ups and downs, and every year has been better than the ones before. I’m so grateful to him for bringing this beautiful time into our lives, allowing us this experience the excitement and celebration of being engaged.
So when he pulled me aside in the Getty museum gardens and asked me to share the rest of my life with him, it took me a moment to realize that this man knew me well enough to let me design my own ring. (I’m super picky and he was determined to not let me know he was looking!) In the box, was a stunning, smoky-gray, rose cut diamond. It was all at once refined, natural and modern– all the things I wanted, but better than anything I would have picked for myself.
Truth be told, I wasn’t always sure about marriage. (Even now, I’m still figuring out what getting married actually means to me and deciding how it will define our relationship– more on this coming soon.) I felt love should be enough to hold two people together, and the cost of a wedding rivaled my love for design and event planning in a way that left me feeling like I’d rather just skip the whole thing all together. Plus I didnt want to start looking at rings unless I had a reason- so my prior “research” was limited to magazine inserts, and marriage felt expensive, inaccessible, unnecessary.
But when we decided getting married was the next step and that I SHOULD start figuring out what I liked, I came to some pretty quick conclusions: I wanted a unique, modern ring with a rough cut or flawed diamond–flatish, rose cut–and a hammered gold band. Something sturdy that wouldn’t look odd amidst the rest of my beloved big rings.
But above all else, I wanted a ring I could live in. Our dream is to buy land in Topanga or Malibu, build a little studio for our small family to grow in, and eventually a big house, with plenty of room and land for the dogs, chickens, sheep and children we hope to have. So I wanted a ring that could get covered in garden dirt, wouldn’t scratch our future babies’ faces, one that I could hike in, cook in, hammer and saw in; one that I could truly build a home in and wear every single day.
PJ did such an amazing job picking out the diamond, and I will always remember the day he gave it to me. Immediately after he proposed we went straight to the jeweler without even seeing the Mapplethorpe exhibition we’d gone to check out in the first place– I was so shocked I could barely walk or think straight, nevermind wander through a museum of crowded people and pretend to look at art!
I was pretty skeptical about this particular jeweler- his shop doesn’t display anything remotely modern- so we looked around at some other jewelers while I carried the diamond all around the house for a week like a little tomagotchi before deciding on the original guy after all. Ultimately what I loved about this second-generation jeweler was that he makes everything by hand as opposed to sending it out, and that he let me be a part of the process from start to finish, beginning with a 3D image, then a wax mold, various stages of slimming the overall design, hand-picking the side diamonds (one for each of our years together so far) marking where they should go, and finally, the hand-hammering and setting of the stones.
I’m so thrilled with how it came out- the cut is classic but the color of the stone, upside down setting (rose cut diamonds are typically set with the pointed side facing up) and hammed gold are modern. I love that Pj picked the stone and I designed the setting. I love that the gold reminds me of Nala and the gray reminds me of Che. It’s a perfect representation of our life so far; of my style and values. When I gaze down at it in yoga, when it gleans in the shower, even when it catches my eye while doing the dishes- I am reminded of how lucky I am and how much I love my little family.
I’m working on putting together a resource guide of the sites I bookmarked while researching unique /natural /eco-friendly / budget-friendly/ bohemian/ alternative engagement rings as well as some of the rings that inspired my own design. I’ll try to get that up later this week! In the meantime, see hands that inspire me here.
If you read this whole post, thank you for bearing with me- I’m just so excited to finally share every detail! xx
Update: You can find my engagement ring inspiration post here!
erin @WELLinLA says
My heart melted all over again. I love the symbolism and care with which you approach everything – the details, like the colors reminding you of your family (Nala & Che), the 4 smaller diamonds – but most of all I love this:
“I wanted a ring that could get covered in garden dirt, wouldn’t scratch our future babies’ faces, one that I could hike in, cook in, hammer and saw in; one that I could truly build a home in and wear every single day.”
And I firmly believe we are of a generation and mindset that has the freedom to redefine what constitutes a beautiful wedding. Do it your way and you’ll never have a regret.
one part gypsy says
And your comment makes MY heart melt! I love that you believe in living on your own terms and defining uniquely what makes the livin good. Thank you thank you. <3 <3
Kacey says
What a BEAUTIFUL ring. I would expect nothing less from such a creative, wonderful person! I can’t wait to see the wedding documented, oh it’s going to be so beautiful! And WOW, PJ, what a perfect stone! I’ve never seen anything like it before. So wonderful, so, so wonderful. Much love.
one part gypsy says
So sweet!!! I remember talking with you back when I still had zero to few realistic expectations of how this ring process could come together and seeing your own journey unfold was such a huge inspiration. Love to you!!!
PJ says
Rach, this is my new favorite post! I am so proud that you want to share this piece with the world.
Love you!
Kate says
Such a beautiful post my sweet. It made me tear up actually! You guys are a fabulous couple and I am so grateful to have you both in our lives.
Oh and that ring is to DIE for. I love love love it. SO gorgeous!
Mazel Tov!
one part gypsy says
AWWWW. Oh this journey we are on!!! For every step of the way, way back when and into the future, <3 to you 🙂 xoxo
EllaY says
What a beautiful ring, what a beautiful story of how it came to be. Blessings on your life-engaged, married, and beyond.
one part gypsy says
Thank you Ella!!!! To living the beautiful life we imagine 🙂 xoxo
Laura Goldenberger says
Your ring is perfect in every way! I loved how you described the life the ring would accompany you through. Truly beautiful and unique, just like you!
sunny says
You have given a soul to your ring with this story, Rachel. Thanks for sharing. I look forward to seeing the same soul in your wedding, which it will be. Congrats to you both.
Lauren says
Rach, I just LOVE this post. I can practically feel the love through my computer with every word. You both are just too cute for words and I could not be happier for you both! I can’t wait for the time when you have that studio in Topanga or Malibu with your little ones running around and I can come visit you all and see how much more your love has grown as a family. xo
Kelly says
Rach, this post is amazingly beautiful! The pictures are stunning, and I am dying to see the ring in person! I am so happy for you and PJ and the new chapter in both your lives. Hope to see you soon! xo
Jules says
Soooo, if and when Zack and I get engaged, you’re going to fly out and photograph my ring and our hands, right? Because after seeing this, I now realize that a camera phone won’t cut it. 😉 XO little sis, congrats again.
-MOH
Loulou says
Congratulations. It is a truly gorgeous ring. I’m a new follower interested in seeing your happy story all work out.
Rackk and Ruin says
Oh Rachel you guys did an amazing job with this ring!! I LOVE the color of the stone and the fact that it’s got a hand hammered finish (I’ve given that finish to almost all of the gold wedding bands i have made for people). So So happy for the two of you. I can’t even imagine how gorgeous your wedding will be. xoxo Molly
Michelle Sanico says
I loved about this was that he makes everything by hand . Congrsts for the beautiful pics. I believe this is also helpful
Michelle says
Hi,
I absolutely love everything about this ring. Is there anyways you can tell me who the jeweler was and where the diamond is from? It’s beautiful and very similar to the style I am wanting.
Thank you,
Michelle
Angie says
Nice wedding rings! You should refer your soon to be hubby to my site to get a matching wedding ring set.
Cheyanne says
What a beautiful ring! Perhaps the prettiest diamond in a bezel setting I’ve ever seen :). I’m in the early stages of designing an engagement ring with my fiance and am playing around with a similar bezel setting. If you don’t mind me asking, what is the ctw on your ring? It’s hard to tell how big or small the loose stones are that I have been looking at on etsy. Even harder to imagine them in a setting. Thank you and congratulations on such a gorgeous ring to last a lifetime!