This feels like a funny post to write. Funny because it is about leaving a social media network, which in itself does not seem noteworthy, and funny because leaving said social media network has generated some surprising reactions that I find, well, funny.

Let me back up.

In my college years (circa 2007) Facebook was a common way of life. I went to school in Arizona and practically every night resulted in an entire album of images. Facebook was how you connected with the friends you met in class, or the guy you made out with at last night’s party.  In a weird Cinderella-esque way, Facebook was sometimes the glass slipper– as in a trail back to people you otherwise might not find again. If you met someone and they did not exist on Facebook, well… that was weird. You must have dreamed you met them, because clearly they were not real.

Fast forward to post-college, and Facebook became crucial for staying connected to friends I might otherwise lose touch with.  I had just moved to LA, where I didn’t know many people and was grateful to still get to peek into everyone’s lives across the county (and plan reunions!) I didn’t love Facebook anymore (it was becoming awkward to say you already knew what people were doing because you saw it online) but I didn’t hate it either. When my now-husband quit in 2011 (he was not into FB profiting off of his personal information) I found it was helpful to be the point-person online for us as a couple. “Hey, did you know so-and-so is in town?” or “Look at your cousin’s cute baby!”

Then, about a year and a half ago, I began to feel differently. Maybe it was the college-friend circle condensing to just the handful who matter most, or that businesses and paid advertising had started to change the landscape. But it was beginning to feel like a room full of people shouting, and no one really listening.

With lot of one-sided self promotions– “look at my cool trip/ new business venture/ most recent blog post/ new house/ baby/wedding photos” — dominating my feed,  I started to seriously consider quitting Facebook. Not because I found any of these posts offensive, but because it no longer felt like a conversation.

I started to wonder about my motives for going on Facebook at all.  Is it because I am bored? Do I actually care when so-and-so is in town and do I even want to see them? Do I post things to seek attention or feel funny or validated (and is it working?) What am I thinking about others when I see their posts, both positive and negative? And most importantly, how do I feel after I get off Facebook?

In the end, the answers to these questions raised another question: “Is my time on Facebook helpful?” The answer was no.

A week ago, my feed looked something like this:

• baby photos
• instagram repost
• dramatic headline you MUST read
• instagram repost
• snuggled pet photo
• wedding photos (complete feed takeover)
• blog post from professional page
• same blog post from professional page shared via personal profile
• buzzfeed quiz result
• inspirational quote
• instagram repost
• TMI post
• silly pet photo
• viral internet post raising likes for cancer or Jesus
• inspirational quote
• competitive comment on someone else’s cute baby photo
• vacation photos (an entire page)
• buzzfeed quiz result
• yoga pose photo
• dramatic headline you CANNOT LIVE without reading
• public venting about private matter
• baby animal so cute it will break your computer
• kickstarter fundraising campaign
• wedding photos
• instagram repost

I know we all have different communities online and that I’m highlighting the worst of them, but for me, this was the bulk and my guess is it looks familiar to you too. Don’t get me wrong– I am guilty of posting the same and participating in all of it! It just seems to be the current version of Facebook’s personality, which in a vacuum, is fine. Sitting on my couch and scrolling through during commercials, or in line somewhere — or, lets be honest, at every red light — I find the yoga poses inspirational, the babies adorable, and the buzz feed quiz results very accurate.

However. As I mentioned in this post I am on the home stretch of my twenties and to be blunt, there is simply too much shit I want to accomplish to be distracted by all of this. In my assessment of priorities, some things just had to go. Today I am talking about Facebook, but later I will talk about some of the other ways I am clearing out time and energy suckers from daily life.

For now, I’ll wrap this up and leave you with a few of my favorite reactions from this past week:

“How else to do connect with people in masses?”

• A: My blog, www.onepartgypsy.com. Also, via good-old-fashioned word of mouth. If you’re not that close to me, you probably won’t know my news until its no longer news (and you probably won’t care, either)

“How do you connect and advertise to potential customers?”

• A: The friends of my personal page were never my potential clients. Besides, if there’s any message I want my brand to send, it’s “get offline, and into your life.”

“Aren’t you afraid you won’t be relevant anymore?”

• A: Shit, am I becoming one of those weird non-people who don’t really exist???  Oh well. I am still a human living a life I love.  Just because something is not online does not mean it didn’t happen or wasn’t pretty enough to publish.  It just means I was having too much fun living it, hopefully with other people who were having fun too. Also: I am still on Instagram– I like that it is more curated and artistic. I am still on Twitter– people can be really funny in 140 characters. And I am still on Pinterest too. Which has nothing to do with my personal life, but just sayin’. (Find me here.)

“Oh, so you waited to get all the attention for your wedding, and THEN you left?”

• A: I do hope my wedding was not the last or most important thing to ever happen to me. And should more beautiful noteworthy life experiences occur, I will have to live with them not being shared on Facebook.

“Give it some time, I bet you’ll be back”

• A: Maybe yes, maybe no. Life is one big experiment, isn’t it?

 

So there is it is. Can someone please post this on Facebook for me? Thanks.